The other shoe

I hope everyone enjoyed the CHD Blog Carnival! It is still attracting visitors (Not as many as the first day, or course) and hopefully we’ll do it again. If you run a blog, would you like to edit the next CHD Blog Carnival? You get to name the subject, set the deadline, and gather the posts together. And we’ll all drop by your place when the Carnival is published!

Long time readers of Funky Heart know that I have an inguinal hernia that gives me a fit. It was bothering me some on Lobby Day, and while my doctors sympathize, they don’t want to recommend surgery. My PulseOx (short for Pulse Oxygenation, a measure of the oxygen that is in my blood) is low, and the doctors would rather avoid surgical procedures. My heart defect, Tricuspid Atresia, makes my PulseOx around 80% at rest, which is not optimal for anesthesia. When I do have to have a surgical procedure (like replacing my pacemaker) they sedate me without putting me completely out. I refer to this as giving me “Happy Juice.”

I am trying to learn exactly what agitates my hernia. Every time it hurts, I try to learn something – what set it off? Did I move wrong, or stretch in the wrong direction? What relieved it? But since Wednesday it has been pretty good. Thursday I felt perfect, and today I felt a twinge of pain (maybe two) and that’s all. I’m hoping that it is calming down, and you can bet that I’m not going to try to aggravate it. When you’ve got an animal growling at you, the last thing you want to do is poke it with a stick!

But I am gaining a new level of respect for Heart Moms and Dads. My parents have gone through this, I’m sure, but I’ve been relatively healthy for most of my life. But with this hernia I am experiencing the feeling of just waiting for something bad to happen. As you well know, it is not a happy anticipation.

I often tell parents (and you, on this blog) to be cool. Take a deep breath. “There is nothing to worry about until there is something to worry about,” as the old saying goes. That’s true, and you need to let go of the fear, if you can. But this feeling of waiting for something to happen – waiting for the other shoe to drop – tears your guts up.

So I’m trying to follow the same advice I’ve given you: Just relax.

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4 Responses to “The other shoe”

  1. Kelly Says:

    Good luck trying! I’ve found there is only one answer…to learn to live in the present as much as possible. When James had brutal episode last July, he(6 months old) and I were enjoying a lovely stroll through the mall one minute, next minute he was dripping sweat, terrified and pale/green. (Several hours later via a lovely Q wave on EKG…we were told it was an ischemic episode—thank God I had no idea what that meant at the time) I now realize that when I am freaking out worrying, it is precisely because NOTHING is happening. On the awful occasions when something is happening, I’m not worrying..I’m in action. My worry doesn’t help me prepare better for the awful stuff…or ward it off. I’m praying for your hernia…may it just go away!!!!!

  2. carolyn compton Says:

    “hernia, hernia go away, don’t come back another day!”
    love carolyn

  3. Charles Robertson Says:

    Inguinal hernias are commonly repaired under local anesthesia with sedation. That might be an option for you.

  4. Jesse Smith Says:

    Hi there!

    I’ll raise my hand to host the next blog carnival … if you still need a volunteer.

    p.s. thanks so much for posting on luke’s blog … you are doing so much GOOD for adults and kids with CHD. Thank you!


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